Teens keep secrets. They need this privacy to resolve their own dilemmas, make their own decisions, and start down the road to becoming independent, responsible adults. Read more...
Teens keep secrets. They need this privacy to resolve their own dilemmas, make their own decisions, and start down the road to becoming independent, responsible adults. Although parents can't (and shouldn't) know everything, they are right to worry about giving their children too much freedom, since teens can be attracted to dangerous behaviors.
Parenting teenagers means allowing them the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and keep moving forward. Dr. Peter Sheras, an expert in adolescent development, has taught countless parents how to know when to step back, when to ask questions, and when to take definitive action. In I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff he explains how pushing for information or attempting to keep teens confined in too small a box will undoubtedly result in anger, resentment, and worst of all a penchant for trouble.
The book includes solid, practical advice on:
- How you can learn more about your teenager's life without invading his privacy or losing her trust
- How to start a conversation when your teen won't talk
- What to do about lying, whether it's infrequent or often
- How to discuss family rules and establish consequences that really work
- How to tell if your teen needs professional help and where to find it
I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff will give you the key to keeping your teenager safe while building a trusting, warm, and communicative relationship.
- ISBN-13: 9780743252157
- ISBN-10: 0743252152
- Publisher: Fireside Books
- Publish Date: August 2004
- Page Count: 245
- Dimensions: 8.36 x 5.54 x 0.66 inches
- Shipping Weight: 0.53 pounds
Do you want to know a secret?
One look at the sullen girl on the cover of I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!, and you know you're dealing with teens. Peter Sheras, Ph.D., addresses a delicate balance aptly summed up in his book's subtitle: "How to give your teens the privacy they crave and the guidance they need."
No matter what your relationship with your teen, at some point you'll have to weigh the matter of ensuring their privacy versus making sure they're not getting into trouble. Sheras provides excellent advice on how to address this and related subjects, such as how to handle your kids' secrets, and how and when to confront your teen with any information you might have gleaned. Sheras also gives practical advice about handling such issues as Internet romances and pornography.
We parents often address issues like these by the seat of our pants, so it's a godsend to have sound advice from an expert. Sheras calls parenting teens "Stage 2 parenting," explaining that useful methods for younger children no longer work. He advocates several valuable strategies, such as "Listen first, speak second," and explains how to "stay informed about what your child is up to, without embarrassing or infuriating her and driving her farther underground." Sheras also acknowledges that it's normal for teens to have secretsit's a necessary part of growing up.
I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! is a short, easy-to-read book packed with sensible approaches. I recommend it for any parent of a teen or preteen.
Reading these books makes parenting seem like a snap. Now comes the hard part: laying the books aside and putting the theories into action. Good luck!