Self-help books don't seem to work. Few of the many advantages of modern life seem capable of lifting our collective mood. Wealth even if you can get it doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. Romance, family life, and work often bring as much stress as joy.Read more...
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Self-help books don't seem to work. Few of the many advantages of modern life seem capable of lifting our collective mood. Wealth even if you can get it doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. Romance, family life, and work often bring as much stress as joy. We can't even agree on what "happiness" means. So are we engaged in a futile pursuit? Or are we just going about it the wrong way?
Looking both east and west, in bulletins from the past and from far afield, Oliver Burkeman introduces us to an unusual group of people who share a single, surprising way of thinking about life. Whether experimental psychologists, terrorism experts, Buddhists, hardheaded business consultants, Greek philosophers, or modern-day gurus, they argue that in our personal lives, and in society at large, it's our constant effort to be happy that is making us miserable. And that there is an alternative path to happiness and success that involves embracing failure, pessimism, insecurity, and uncertainty the very things we spend our lives trying to avoid. Thought-provoking, counterintuitive, and ultimately uplifting, "The Antidote "is the intelligent person's guide to understanding the much-misunderstood idea of happiness."
Publishers Weekly® Reviews
- Reviewed in: Publishers Weekly, page .
- Review Date: 2012-09-10
- Reviewer: Staff
This is a self-help book for cynics. Guardian feature writer Burkeman (Help!) makes the compelling observation that even with the mass production of books on attaining happiness, the collective mood has failed to rise. It has, if anything, fallen. Burkeman’s aim is to endorse a “negative” path to happiness, a route in which happiness is no longer the final destination because serenity is not a fixed state, and trying so hard to be happy is part of what makes us so miserable. Burkeman balances the ideas of the deepest thinkers, thoughts on mortality, and his own foray into Buddhist meditation with tremendously funny anecdotes about the antics of motivational convention attendees and his humiliating attempts at stoicism on the London subway. The version of “happiness” that emerges has no clear set of steps, rather a calm (yet admirably comical) shift from the happy human being to the human who is, simply, being. None of this is new, but Burkeman’s ability to present sentiments in fresh, delightfully sarcastic packaging will appeal to the happy, the unhappy, and those who have already found a peaceful middle ground. Agent: Claire Conrad, Janklow & Nesbit. (Nov.)
The power of embracing your failures
Journalist Oliver Burkeman cheerfully guides us through the power of negative thinking in his new book The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. Culled from his popular Guardian column, this book’s central insight is that positive thinking doesn’t make anyone happier. In fact, chanting affirmations and focusing on success may undermine our happiness by reminding us how we fall short of it every day and in every way.
So what is the “negative path” to happiness? Mining a long and venerable philosophical tradition, Burkeman introduces us to a variety of approaches that encourage us to detach from our relentless pursuit of betterment. His epigraph from Alan Watt evokes the central paradox of this way of thinking: “When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float.” From the negative visualization of Greco-Roman Stoicism to the detachment of Buddhism, these schools of thought remind us that although we may not be able to control what happens to us, suffering is optional.
Although Burkeman dives into more contemporary New Age-y waters in his hilarious character assassination of The Secret, he admits to finding himself drawn to best-selling author Eckhart Tolle. Tolle’s philosophy, like much of contemporary Buddhism, encourages us to stop identifying with the self, if by “self” we mean those endless chattering voices in our minds. One of Tolle’s techniques that Burkeman finds himself using in daily life is the simple question: Do I have a problem right now? This reminds us that much of our anxiety concerns a future that hasn’t happened yet.
In other fascinating chapters, Burkeman looks at how goal-setting may have contributed to the tragic deaths on Mount Everest in 1996; how our post-9/11 preoccupation with security may be making us less safe; and how embracing failure, false starts and uncertainty may help us move forward in our lives. Burkeman’s book is indeed a witty antidote to the shelves of self-help books that don’t seem to help anyone but their authors; but it also has a serious purpose. Embracing uncertainty and detaching from our monkey-minds may help us become happier.