Publishers Weekly® Reviews
- Reviewed in: Publishers Weekly, page .
- Review Date: 2011-05-23
- Reviewer: Staff
What began as a lark–some "modeling" for easy money–turned into a decade-long career in adult films. Lest readers get any romantic notions about the industry (as "Ashley Blue," the author appeared in movies at the extreme end of the spectrum), Small pulls no punches. In straightforward anecdotes that make punk provocateur GG Allin look like the melon-smashing comedian Gallagher, Small recounts a career of bodily fluids, superhuman sex, and degradations too numerous to name. Encouraged by her enthusiastic boyfriend Tyler, and blissfully ignorant of the pitfalls, Small quickly became known for her gung-ho attitude and amazing endurance. Flush with cash, she and Tyler stocked up on cocaine and alcohol and their once-healthy (well, sort of) relationship suffered. The product of a wildly dysfunctional family, Small is fully aware of her shortcomings, including a need for attention and approval, and while she acknowledges an unyielding desire to be in a healthy relationship, she has few, if any, regrets. Those expecting an arc of spiritual redemption or a condemnation of the darker side of porn will be disappointed; Small remains proud of her work, going so far as to call some of it "performance art." Art is in the eye of the beholder, and Small's fiercely honest memoir won't soon be forgotten. (May)