Publishers Weekly® Reviews
- Reviewed in: Publishers Weekly, page .
- Review Date: 2011-08-01
- Reviewer: Staff
Gold, a behavioral pediatrician in Great Barrington, Mass., and Boston Globe columnist on children's mental health, focuses not on what to do but "how to be" with a child. Gold guides parents to "hold the child in mind," which means that the parent strives to understand the child's behavior in terms of the child's level of development, empathizes with the child's feelings, and helps the child to contain and regulate his or her emotions. It's also crucial that the parent remain calm and not become overwhelmed. Gold covers a range of issues from birth to adolescence, using vignettes and composites culled from her own practice to illustrate how holding a child in mind works (when faced with a colicky baby, Gold encourages parents to tolerate, contain, and be with the baby's distress). She addresses helping a baby learn how to sleep on its own, covers limit-setting for toddlers, and reveals how to use empathy in dealing with teenagers. Rather than behavior problems that need to be fixed, the author approaches such issues as excessive crying, sleep problems, and explosive behavior from a developmental perspective. She also helps parents examine past experiences and change negative family patterns that can be passed from generation to generation. Though not a quick fix, readers seeking a comprehensive approach to child-rearing will welcome this thoughtful book. (Sept.)