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- [-] Other Available FormatsOur PriceNew & Used MarketplaceMy Horizontal Life (Paperback)
Publisher: Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book$15.00My Horizontal Life (Mass Market Paperback)
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing$8.00My Horizontal Life (Audio Compact Disc - Unabridged)
Publisher: Tantor Audio$49.99
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.
- ISBN-13: 1582346186
- ISBN-10: 1582346186
- Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC
- Publish Date: June 2005
- Page Count: 213
Publishers Weekly® Reviews
- Reviewed in: Publishers Weekly, page 53.
- Review Date: 2005-04-18
- Reviewer: Staff
Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into "anal beads and duct tape." She discusses her quest for sex with a "black man," which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she "would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing." After him, there's a "little midget," but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handler does sleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a "giant skid mark" prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed. Agent, Michael Broussard Dupree. (June)