In an effort to raise children with a healthy view of themselves, parents often focus on self-esteem rather than self-respect. Read more...
In an effort to raise children with a healthy view of themselves, parents often focus on self-esteem rather than self-respect. And author Jill Rigby says there's a big difference. It's the difference between self-centered and others-centered children, the difference between performance-driven and purpose-focused teenagers.
Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World examines three different styles of parenting--parent-centered, child-centered, and character-centered. Parent-centered parents are more concerned with their own agenda than their child's best interest. Child-centered parents are more concerned with their child's approval than their child's well-being. Character-centered parents are more concerned with their child's character than their child's comfort. Drawing a distinction between performance and purpose, this book maintains that rather than focusing on what you want your child to do, you ask what you want your child to become. Finally, Rigby calls for parents to discipline (teach) their children rather than punish them.
With wisdom and insight, Jill Rigby shares age-appropriate ways to set boundaries with children without building walls of separation. Whether you're parenting tots or teens, Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World offers valuable advice for cultivating a house of respect.
Publishers Weekly® Reviews
- Reviewed in: Publishers Weekly, page .
- Review Date: 2013-08-05
- Reviewer: Staff
Founder of Manners of the Heart Community Fund, a Baton Rouge, La., faith-based nonprofit dedicated to children’s character development and education, Rigby (Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World) presents an updated, expanded edition of her 2006 book. According to Rigby, the self-esteem movement “darn near destroyed our children and society,” creating a generation of “aristobrats.” Using the metaphor of survival and rebuilding after Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Isaac, Rigby casts herself as a modern-day Noah who, with hope, lessons, and parables, can help restore a traditional, respectful parent-child dynamic and “undo the damage in today’s children from a culture gone awry.” She describes the flaws and problems of parent-centered and child-centered families, and suggests instead an exemplary character-centered family. Rigby outlines a chapter-by-chapter plan, assigning tasks such as modeling the behavior you want your children to exhibit; using encouragement, not praise, as motivation; protecting “your treasures from the trash” of modern media and bad manners; and teaching gratitude. With handy lists and charts, as well as sidebars and citations from parenting experts, the book invites re-reading. Written from a Christian perspective, and peppered with pull-out quotes from the New and Old Testaments and from Wise Ol’ Wilbur, the Manners of the Heart mascot, this volume offers sensible and solid, but not overly strict methods for teaching respect. Agent: Steve Laube, Steve Laube Agency. (Aug.)