Calling in : How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel
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Overview
From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur "Genius" Fellow, this urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook provides bold, practical new ways to transform conflicts into connections, even with those we're tempted to walk away from.
In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother in Washington who'd had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at the DC Rape Crisis Center when the organization got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. Instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards. This choice would set her on the path towards developing a framework that would come to guide her whole career: Rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable--but with love. Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir--because the power of Loretta Ross's message comes from who she is and what she's lived through. She's a Black woman who's deprogrammed white supremacists, and a survivor who's taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in--inviting them into conversation instead of conflict and focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment--is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room. Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a "masterclass in constructive confrontation" (Adam Grant) and a practical new solution from one of our country's most extraordinary change-makers--one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.Customers Also Bought
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Details
- ISBN-13: 9781982190798
- ISBN-10: 1982190795
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster
- Publish Date: February 2025
- Dimensions: 8.58 x 5.85 x 0.99 inches
- Shipping Weight: 0.8 pounds
- Page Count: 288
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Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel by Loretta J. Ross is a transformational guide that challenges the reflexive public disavowals commonly known as canceling; instead, Ross advocates for coalition building, understanding and justice. In a social media era shaped by movements like #MeToo and Black Lives Matter, Ross examines the utility of public shaming as a political tool while exposing how collective outrage can hinder mutual organizing efforts. Equal parts memoir, manifesto and manual, Calling In champions accountability that’s rooted in empathy, understanding and shared humanity.
Ross weaves her personal stories with insights from influential thinkers such as poet Audre Lorde, author and AIDS historian Sarah Schulman and Black Lives Matter co-founder Alicia Garza, creating a rich and compelling narrative. Drawing from her decades in feminist activism, Ross addresses issues like leftist infighting and the need to center joy in social justice work. Poignant personal anecdotes—such as working with convicted rapists after receiving a letter from one during her time at the Washington D.C. Rape Crisis Center—underscore her transformative approach. Equally honest about her failures, Ross reflects on moments like lashing out at a younger colleague at SisterSong, a women of color-led reproductive justice collective she co-founded, to illustrate the difficulty and necessity of “calling in.”
The book’s most compelling argument is its challenge to examine why humans are drawn to spectacle and moral superiority. Ross recognizes that criticism of cancel culture can often serve as a right-wing dog whistle, and sees “calling out” as effective and even necessary when seeking justice for sexual and domestic violence survivors, or violent bigotry and hatred. However, she asks us to rethink the dehumanizing takedown cycle as a form of internet entertainment. While anger and guilt can feel justified, she argues they are not always effective tools for progress. Instead, she advocates for joy and empathy as radical acts of resistance, requiring belief in others’ potential and a commitment to building community—practices that take effort and humility to master.
Calling In is especially timely in the polarized political climate of the past few decades, emphasizing the importance of bridging divides and reclaiming our shared humanity. Courageous, practical and ultimately, very hopeful, Ross’ work is an essential read for anyone yearning to move beyond destructive public disavowals and toward meaningful, sustainable change.
Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel by Loretta J. Ross is a transformational guide that challenges the reflexive public disavowals commonly known as canceling; instead, Ross advocates for coalition building, understanding and justice. In a social media era shaped by movements like #MeToo and Black Lives Matter, Ross examines the utility of public shaming as a political tool while exposing how collective outrage can hinder mutual organizing efforts. Equal parts memoir, manifesto and manual, Calling In champions accountability that’s rooted in empathy, understanding and shared humanity.
Ross weaves her personal stories with insights from influential thinkers such as poet Audre Lorde, author and AIDS historian Sarah Schulman and Black Lives Matter co-founder Alicia Garza, creating a rich and compelling narrative. Drawing from her decades in feminist activism, Ross addresses issues like leftist infighting and the need to center joy in social justice work. Poignant personal anecdotes—such as working with convicted rapists after receiving a letter from one during her time at the Washington D.C. Rape Crisis Center—underscore her transformative approach. Equally honest about her failures, Ross reflects on moments like lashing out at a younger colleague at SisterSong, a women of color-led reproductive justice collective she co-founded, to illustrate the difficulty and necessity of “calling in.”
The book’s most compelling argument is its challenge to examine why humans are drawn to spectacle and moral superiority. Ross recognizes that criticism of cancel culture can often serve as a right-wing dog whistle, and sees “calling out” as effective and even necessary when seeking justice for sexual and domestic violence survivors, or violent bigotry and hatred. However, she asks us to rethink the dehumanizing takedown cycle as a form of internet entertainment. While anger and guilt can feel justified, she argues they are not always effective tools for progress. Instead, she advocates for joy and empathy as radical acts of resistance, requiring belief in others’ potential and a commitment to building community—practices that take effort and humility to master.
Calling In is especially timely in the polarized political climate of the past few decades, emphasizing the importance of bridging divides and reclaiming our shared humanity. Courageous, practical and ultimately, very hopeful, Ross’ work is an essential read for anyone yearning to move beyond destructive public disavowals and toward meaningful, sustainable change.