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{ "item_title" : "Don't Make Me", "item_author" : [" John Shoufler "], "item_description" : "It's 11pm and you're Googling why does my child scream when I ask them to brush their teeth - again.The sticker charts failed. The consequences failed. Just be firm made it worse. Then you found a term that fit your kid like a key in a lock: PDA - Pathological Demand Avoidance, an anxiety-driven need to resist everyday demands that's common in autistic and neurodivergent kids.Most PDA books explain the theory. This one hands you the words.Don't Make Me is a flip-to-your-crisis field guide. Turn to the standoff you're having right now - getting dressed, screen time, the bath, school refusal, the full meltdown - and get: What's really happening in your child's nervous systemWhat not to say - the instinctive line that backfiresThe exact words to try instead, using declarative language and low-demand strategiesHow to de-escalate when it's already blowing upHow to recover afterward, for your child and for youInside: 50+ real flashpoints with ready-to-say scripts, plus plain-English chapters on low-demand parenting, declarative language, riding out autism meltdowns without making them worse, flexible routines that invite instead of command, getting a school evaluation and IEP/504 support, and surviving caregiver burnout.You're not failing. Your child isn't broken, manipulative, or bad. The standard playbook was written for a different kid. This one was written for yours.Fewer explosions. More connection. A calmer house, built one lowered demand at a time - starting tonight.Educational; not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or educational advice.", "item_img_path" : "https://covers4.booksamillion.com/covers/bam/9/79/889/723/9798897230495_b.jpg", "price_data" : { "retail_price" : "14.99", "online_price" : "14.99", "our_price" : "14.99", "club_price" : "14.99", "savings_pct" : "0", "savings_amt" : "0.00", "club_savings_pct" : "0", "club_savings_amt" : "0.00", "discount_pct" : "10", "store_price" : "" } }
Don't Make Me|John Shoufler

Don't Make Me : A Parent's Field Guide to PDA - Real Scripts for Demand Avoidance, Meltdowns, and Everyday Standoffs

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Overview

It's 11pm and you're Googling "why does my child scream when I ask them to brush their teeth" - again.

The sticker charts failed. The consequences failed. "Just be firm" made it worse. Then you found a term that fit your kid like a key in a lock: PDA - Pathological Demand Avoidance, an anxiety-driven need to resist everyday demands that's common in autistic and neurodivergent kids.

Most PDA books explain the theory. This one hands you the words.

Don't Make Me is a flip-to-your-crisis field guide. Turn to the standoff you're having right now - getting dressed, screen time, the bath, school refusal, the full meltdown - and get:

  • What's really happening in your child's nervous system
  • What not to say - the instinctive line that backfires
  • The exact words to try instead, using declarative language and low-demand strategies
  • How to de-escalate when it's already blowing up
  • How to recover afterward, for your child and for you

Inside: 50+ real flashpoints with ready-to-say scripts, plus plain-English chapters on low-demand parenting, declarative language, riding out autism meltdowns without making them worse, flexible routines that invite instead of command, getting a school evaluation and IEP/504 support, and surviving caregiver burnout.

You're not failing. Your child isn't broken, manipulative, or bad. The standard playbook was written for a different kid. This one was written for yours.

Fewer explosions. More connection. A calmer house, built one lowered demand at a time - starting tonight.

Educational; not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or educational advice.

This item is Non-Returnable

Details

  • ISBN-13: 9798897230495
  • ISBN-10: 9798897230495
  • Publisher: John Shoufler
  • Publish Date: July 2026
  • Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.35 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 0.39 pounds
  • Page Count: 140

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