{ "item_title" : "Fall Risk", "item_author" : [" Frank N. Shumard "], "item_description" : "In FALL RISK: The Memoir of a Man Who Only Wanted to Pee Alone, Frank Shumard turns a five-day hospital stay into a hilariously honest, painfully relatable, and unexpectedly uplifting memoir. From the moment a bright-red FALL RISK wristband is slapped on him like a parole ankle monitor, Frank realizes he has entered a world where nothing is private, the bed alarms have trust issues, and nurses can smell rebellion from down the hall.With razor-sharp humor, he chronicles: The Bed Escape Alarm OlympicsThe IV Pole Grand PrixPopsicles: the last surviving joy in hospital cuisineAngels in scrubs... and the occasional demon in discount perfumeAnd the tragic downfall of human dignity when a man just wants to stand up without triggering NASAThis is a book for anyone who has ever been a patient, loved a patient, or wondered why hospital gowns are designed by people who clearly hate humans. You'll laugh. You'll cringe. You'll question the entire healthcare d cor industry.But most of all, you'll cheer for a man whose only goal-his Everest-is to pee without an audience.", "item_img_path" : "https://covers2.booksamillion.com/covers/bam/9/79/827/565/9798275658521_b.jpg", "price_data" : { "retail_price" : "10.95", "online_price" : "10.95", "our_price" : "10.95", "club_price" : "10.95", "savings_pct" : "0", "savings_amt" : "0.00", "club_savings_pct" : "0", "club_savings_amt" : "0.00", "discount_pct" : "10", "store_price" : "" } }

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